the Hall
Quickly regretting that I don’t need a haircut, I take a seat on the most comfortable and never-worn, wine red individual couch. Trying to dig for an excuse or any kind of reason for at least a trim, I sit and wait to talk to the Joe Dimaggio of haircutting.

I take a look at the never-aged television that used to play Hunter and Magnum P.I. only now its my woman Lauren Sanchez on the twelve o’ clock news. I soak in the relaxing environment and slowly melt with the slight sound of the smoothest clippers and scissors that cut hair without touching a single strand. It is almost like walking into a huge super soft pillow while getting a haircut. It's the total opposite of a tall can of Monster and twice as better as one of those weird wired head massagers. Relaxing. Ever had a nice warm plate of meat and potatoes after a hard day at work? It's exactly like that.

As you hop on the seat and as he adjusts the white cloth around your neck, he picks up the style of cut you want without saying a word. Maybe somewhere in the “How are you doing, Joe?” he can pick up that you need a flattop.






















“Hello Escott” says joe through his Italian accent. He looks at my hair and puts down his scissors. He knew I came in for something else, at the same time knowing what I had to eat last night. Yea, a little weird, aye?

Not really; you get used to it.

Cutting hair for  forty-three years (since 1964), Joe
has seen it all. From the pompadour to the
zig-zagged lines on the side of your Bobby Brown haircut to the Sam Perkins to the havannah house fade, right back to the pomp.

Being able to take time from Joe's day, I asked him questions you always wanted to know from a GENTLE-MAN, maybe coming upon a few tips on how to sharpen your appearance a bit. In order to get the perfect recipe I had to break Joe down a bit, and ask what was in his routine.

Dean martin over Sinatra (not “fittie” over “T.I”) , pomade over gel, Al Pacino over Robert DeNiro any day, and a Lincoln Continental without any hesitation. It quickly shows what direction I should be heading. The true styles are still appreciated, and still being practiced.
      
Joe is a ’59 Caddie, but with legs instead of tires. That is the best way to describe him. Instead of the motor oil, it is a splash of Musk. Who still puts on after shave anyways? Now it is some sort of after shave lotion. Lotion! Catch my drift yet?
    
A good way of seeing it is to compare yourself to your car, truck your horse or whatever you take to get around. You should compliment your car as it should to you. Kind of like a fedora to a pair of slacks. The way you walk is the way your baby --your car-- handles the road, which should be sharp and gracefully.  .
        
Go ahead and ask him some questions, or simply ask how long would it take that fade to grow into a mighty pompadour. The perfect place to start is on 636 East Main Street in Alhambra, where there are more scissors than clippers, and what can truly be called a barber (not a hairstylist).
       
What do you want to be? A plastic boring Honda, a supercut masta’? Or an old carburetor-run domestic? If you haven’t had the chance of smelling that beautiful scent of oil and gas (ahhh), I am free to give drives up and down Caesar Chavez (gals for free) .Trust me, it is almost a discovery. Everybody should have the same opportunity to be spoiled a bit, kind of like a foot massage for your head.

Nowadays haircuts are pretty steep as well. Its either someones “Tia” who cuts it for you for free (or in exchange, you have to change her water pump),or you just don’t cut it. The haircuts at Alhambra Barber Shop are only twelve bucks. Think about it, that is probably two drinks at the bar. When a haircut last more than the night. Ya dig?  Eventually you’ll be be calling Joe Tio!

The perfect place to add an asset to your “old-school” -sharpness-gentleman  arsenal. Perhaps you are only looking for place to “unwind” a bit. Instead of trying to relax on a lazy-boy, go get a trim and get away from all the nonsense.  

If you want an experience and a haircut at the same time, this is the perfect place. Come to get away from your woman, homework, or slimy supervisor. This is  the only place where you would tip the owner of a business. All you have to do is go down Atlantic and make a right on main. Shoot, I’d go there just to sleep!

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Joe the Barber